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Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

Choose Recovery Services - Alana Gordon and Amie Woolsey

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Choose To Be is focused on women healing from infidelity, and betrayal trauma. We are committed to helping women heal. Be a part of the conversation as we interview experts and others who have gone through this journey and gain tools to help you move forward. Alana and Amie bring their own experiences to the conversation, and their individual expertise makes for a unique and valuable resource. Alana Gordon-MFTI, CCPS, CSAT candidate, Betrayal Coach Amie Woolsey-Betrayal Coach, CPC, ELI-MP, A ...
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Do you feel stuck in the cycle of victimhood after betrayal, believing thoughts like, “I’ll never trust again” or “I’m not enough”? In this week’s episode, Amie walks us through the “Victim to Chooser” framework sharing the progressive stages she sees clients navigate towards healing and wholeness. Listen in to see if you have thought patterns that…
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Do you feel stuck wondering if you will ever heal from betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode Amie and Alana share their own experiences grappling with that exact question. They provide wisdom and practical tools for aiding your healing process whether you are just starting out or are further along the path. You can and will heal - as you keep t…
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Do you find yourself imagining all the ways things would be better “if he would just…”? If so, you’re not alone! In this episode Amie and Alana dive into this disempowering mindset and provide wisdom on shifting your thinking by focusing on what you can control. Gain clarity as they share candid examples and advice on how to take your next empowere…
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We all wear masks at times, but hiding your true self is exhausting and inauthentic. In this week’s episode we welcome back Luke Gordon. Luke opens up about his personal battles with hiding behind false versions of himself. He describes how he was finally able to deepen relationships when he stepped into vulnerability, integrity, and authenticity. …
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Your body is keeping secrets - traumatic memories and intense emotions locked away at a cellular level. In this episode, Amie and Alana dive into the science of how the body “keeps the score,” storing experiences that your conscious mind has disconnected from. Learn how to unlock your body’s innate wisdom to truly heal. Listen to learn: How emotion…
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Imagine being able to rewire your brain to heal from the devastation of betrayal trauma and PTSD. Many who have tried ketamine say they have done just that. On this episode, Alana explains what ketamine is and how it can help receptors in your brain work together to promote healing from the pain of trauma. Listen in as Alana shares her experience w…
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Are you constantly judging your emotions as good or bad? Do you feel guilty for experiencing “negative” feelings? In this episode, Amie dives deep into the tendency we often have of moralizing our emotions. Learn why it’s important to notice and name your feelings, to become aware of when you might be suppressing emotions, and how to embrace all of…
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Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by the damage caused by your addiction that giving up seemed like the only option? In this episode, Luke Gordon, cofounder and coach at Choose Recovery Services, as well as a father in recovery, opens up about grappling with feelings of hopelessness when facing attachment wounds inflicted on his children because of…
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This week we are excited to welcome Luke Gordon to the podcast! Luke is an emotional health coach and cofounder of Choose Recovery Services who specializes in helping men overcome unwanted sexual compulsive behaviors. Luke shares how disruptions in our earliest childhood attachments form the foundation for later challenges like addiction, unhealthy…
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When parents have experienced betrayal in their relationship, the entire family system is impacted. Teens and young adults are old enough to sense things are amiss, but may not understand everything that’s happening in their parents’ world. In today’s episode we are excited to welcome Morgan Ellsworth, a life coach at Choose Recovery Services. She …
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We know attachment can suffer between partners when there’s been betrayal or trauma, but how are our kids’ attachments impacted? In today’s episode, Amie and Alana unpack how to be a solid anchor for your children during hard times. Learn how to be grounded, regulated, and vulnerable to help your children stay securely attached to you even amidst c…
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Do you ever feel tangled up in knots trying to understand where your relationship pain stems from? How can you tell if your pain is coming from childhood attachment wounds or current betrayal trauma? This week Amie and Alana help us learn how to unravel old and new attachment knots and walk us through what we can do to feel secure again in our rela…
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Have you ever felt disconnected, even when your partner is right beside you? In these situations, ask yourself, “A.R.E. you there for me?” Amie and Alana break down the acronym "A.R.E." to give you a tool to help you set the foundation for meaningful bonds, communication and attachment. Learn how to deepen your connection so you can be there for ot…
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Do you crave deep connection but struggle to let partners in? Have you ever accused loved ones of being distant when they simply needed space? These behaviors could stem from your attachment style. Join Amie and Alana as they delve into attachment theory and how our attachment styles formed in childhood become blueprints for our relationships throu…
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Trust is essential in healthy relationships, yet it is shattered by betrayal. Rebuilding that broken trust can feel impossible. In this episode, Alana tackles head-on the messy complexities around trust after betrayal. She offers insight into power imbalances, avoiding the dangerous “floating saint” trap, boundary setting, embracing imperfection, a…
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If you’ve experienced betrayal in a relationship then you know what it’s like to feel rejected by your partner. But are you aware of ways you may be rejecting YOURSELF? In this episode, Amie sheds light on the topic of self-rejection. Learn what self-rejection is, how it shows up in our thoughts and actions, and what you can do to overcome this bar…
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Am I enough? Am I worthy of connection? Am I worthy of love? If you have found yourself asking these questions, then you will want to listen in as Amie and Alana and their guest, Jess Kovic, talk all about shame. Jess is a certified life coach, APSATS trainee, Brainspotting practitioner, and fellow team member at Choose Recovery Services. Jess help…
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Although he’s always eager to take you for a twirl on the dance floor, Walter isn’t the dance partner you want. His toxic tango can cause you to constantly trip up in your relationships. So who is this Walter guy? WALTER is an acronym representing the unhealthy communication behaviors we often fall into despite our best intentions. In this week’s e…
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Betrayal cuts deep, and that wound causes intense pain and heartache. In this episode, Alana talks about why betrayal is so traumatic. She walks us through the three main areas that betrayal attacks and outlines the six stages of healing. Listen to understand more about the strong emotions you may feel as you’re recovering from betrayal and how tha…
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Happy Holidays! Alana and I are so grateful to all you listeners and feel so blessed to hear from all of you and the support you feel from this podcast. Many of you will write in and kindly assume that we have it all together, so today we thought we'd show you just how much we don't! Head over to our YouTube channel to watch Alana and I listen to o…
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When you have experienced trauma or betrayal, grief and sadness feel like constant companions. Kim Brown, a grief educator, APSATS candidate, and certified betrayal trauma coach at Choose Recovery Services joins Amie and Alana this week to help us understand more about grief and its significance in our healing journey. If you find yourself constant…
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“I have to do it all! I have to BE it all!” If you often find yourself thinking these things, then this episode is for you! Amie and Alana share practical tips for finding balance amidst the seasonal chaos. If you feel overwhelmed and pressured to make the holidays (or any days!) picture-perfect, this episode will give you permission to do less of …
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The holidays can be a tricky time under the best of circumstances, but in the aftermath of a betrayal, they can feel impossible. This week’s episode offers a no-nonsense guide to surviving the holiday season. If you’re tempted to run and hide during these upcoming weeks, listen in on this Road to Recovery webinar as Alana and Luke throw you a lifel…
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After nearly two decades of marriage, Staci Somes found herself at a crossroads far too many women face: should I stay or should I go? Join Amie and Alana as they talk with Staci, a licensed professional counselor and coach at Choose Recovery Services. In this raw and vulnerable conversation, Staci shares her personal journey of betrayal and the gr…
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Do you ever feel like you have to pretend to be happy in your relationship? Are you tired of hiding your true feelings just to keep the peace? Join Amie and Alana as they talk about the problems of inauthenticity and the benefits of embracing and expressing your real thoughts and emotions. Listen to learn: What authenticity is and why it is importa…
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Have you ever heard of the term radical self-care? Join Amie today as she uses this concept to encourage you to prepare for the up and coming holiday months so that you can be the CHOOSER of your experiences. Here is what she will cover: What is radical self-care? The importance of deep, intentional self-care. The first pillar: Awareness, including…
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While couples may go through therapeutic disclosures, what about the children? They also notice problems and are able to sense when things are off. Today Amie talks with Dr. Anthony Walker, a Choose Recovery coach trained in Brainspotting and the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model through APSATS. Dr. Walker and Amie explore the what, when, and h…
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Join Amie today as she shares an episode from her Empowered Divorce Podcast where she talks about the importance of healing from betrayal by BELIEVING your body. Your body's memory is an integral part of trauma that goes way beyond the cognitive part of your brain. The body holds so much memory and it influences your physical health, emotional well…
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We are excited to welcome Darcy Haas to the podcast today! Darcy is an RN who practices functional medicine and nutrition. She focuses on helping women address the root causes of their physical health issues. Darcy shares her own experience with betrayal trauma and her resulting health problems leading her to study and learn more about how chronic …
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Do you ever wonder if constant triggers mean you’re stuck and not healing? While trauma triggers may last a lifetime, you can learn skills to decrease their intensity and frequency. Amie and Alana have a candid discussion about how to think about triggers, trust your inner wisdom, and rewire your brain’s reactions so you can heal, thrive, and appre…
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Join us and our guest Dr. Don St John, Ph.D as he shares his 4 pillars of healing from trauma. Here is what you will gain: Dr. St John's Trauma Background: Dr. St John's personal history of trauma and abuse. Realization of the need for healing in his own life. Understanding the importance of addressing both the mind and body in the healing process.…
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Why Relational Recovery? Stephanie shares her personal journey and how it led her to become passionate about relational recovery. The transformation she experienced in her own life after partner betrayal. The importance of helping others experience positive transformations in their lives. The Possibility of Healing Discussing the possibility of hea…
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What You'll Learn What is differentiation Why its helpful to learn how to differentiate Why both spouses need to do this work Referenced in this episode: In this podcast episode, Alana reflects on her graduate school experience and provides updates on their podcast. She discusses her initial exposure to Murray Bowen's model of Bowen theory as she d…
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Do you find yourself saying, “I’m fine” when you’re not? Join Amie and Alana as they explore why we try to convince ourselves and others that we are okay when we’re actually struggling. Get ready to dig deeper into what your “I’m fine” response is really trying to communicate. Listen to learn: How to get curious when you find yourself saying you’re…
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Do you spend endless hours trying to diagnose your partner and obsessing over their intentions and motivations? In this week's episode, Amie and Alana are giving you permission to stop overanalyzing your partner and to shift the focus back to yourself. You'll walk away feeling empowered, with insight into where to direct your energy during your rec…
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Betrayal is painful enough, but what if your partner uses their recovery against you? This week we dive into the complicated dynamics of betrayers weaponizing their healing. Join Amie and Alana as they explore the nuances of weaponizing recovery work including what it is, how to spot it, why it happens, and how you can protect yourself. *BIG discla…
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Join Alana Gordon and Hali Roderick as we talk about the need for men to gain the skill set on how to help their wife heal after betrayal if they want relational healing. If you would like to learn more about the Help Her Heal Course, go to www.chooserecoveryservices.com. Help Her Heal for Men with Hali Roderick ⁠https://www.chooserecoveryservices.…
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“It is time to define betrayal violence.” That is the message that our guest, Hope Ray, wants to offer today. Hope is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Certified Hope and Freedom Practitioner. Listen to hear how Hope uses the term “betrayal violence” and how she feels those powerful words give a more thorou…
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Last week we learned about the important role our nervous system plays in regulating our bodies. This week Amie and Alana are here to continue that conversation and to give you practical, tangible things you can do right now to help engage and relax your central nervous system. Tune in to learn: What bodily discomfort may be telling you. What to re…
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We are excited to welcome Psychotherapist and Betrayal Navigation Coach, KayLee Dunn, to this week’s episode of Choose to Be. KayLee talks through the brain science behind trauma and will help you better understand your body’s survival responses and how to turn them into your superpower. With relatable personal examples, relevant research, and empa…
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Many women suffering from betrayal not only emotionally detach from their partners, but they also detach from themselves. In preparation for next week’s episode with Mental Health Therapist, KayLee Dunn, Amie and Alana wanted to give you some ideas to think about, sit with, and journal on around the topic of emotional detachment. Listen to learn ho…
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👮 Do you find yourself policing your partner, feeling the need to repeatedly check their phone, their whereabouts, and their actions? First, this is NORMAL after betrayal, and second, this isn’t a place you want to stay long term. There ARE ways to let go of these habits in a way that will move you from feeling powerless to empowered. Amie and Alan…
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Are triggers getting in the way of your ability to recognize your gut feelings? And what’s the difference between the two? After going through trauma, it can become confusing to distinguish between which feelings are legitimate alarm bells and what’s a false alarm. Amie and Alana share real life examples, relatable analogies, and helpful tips to he…
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There’s no such thing as bad support, right? Wrong! Amie and Alana welcome you to a chat about times you may be getting “support” that isn’t truly supporting your healing journey. Find out what helps and what is holding you back when it comes to getting the support you need in this week’s episode of the Choose to Be Podcast. Tune in to learn: What …
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As a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of gaslighting, Sarah Morales has redefined gaslighting to help reduce the stigmatization, fear, and powerlessness around the term. This week, Sarah joins Amie and Alana to share what gaslighting looks like, what it takes to repair a relationship with gaslighting, and whether or not chronic gaslighte…
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Have you ever heard the saying, “Grief is a luxury for the brain that feels safe?” This is a quote from Dr. Jake Porter, and it might sound like an oxymoron, but it’s true! Amie and Alana share how grief is a luxury, and how you can’t get there unless you’re feeling safe within yourself, your body, and your emotions. Tune into this episode to learn…
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Are you navigating parenting a child who struggles with compulsive behaviors? For those who have experienced betrayal trauma, this can bring up a lot of fears, triggers, and concern. Amie and Alana are joined this week by special guest, Marriage and Family Therapist, Jeremy Leavitt, to discuss the exploratory and compulsive behaviors your children …
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Join us for part four of the four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie, Alana, and Luke break down the pieces of what the separation can entail to help work towards reunification and reintegration back into the home and relationship. They discuss what things to watch for, markers to know you might be ready, and what to do i…
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This is part three of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie and Alana break down the pieces of a therapeutic agreement for separation. This agreement outlines the terms and conditions agreed upon by the couple as they undergo the separation process. It serves as a framework to establish clear boundaries, expectations,…
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This is part two of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. Last week Amie and Alana covered why you might need a separation and the feelings that come up while making this decision. This week, Luke Gordon joins to discuss how to prepare for a separation, and what to expect emotionally, mentally, and physically. Tune in to learn: How a marri…
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