老外来了：吐槽！我收到的奇葩情人节礼物！

一席英语·脱口秀：老外来了

主播：梅莉| 翩翩

音乐：Colourful

Valentine’s Dayis coming up. 情人节要来了！

每年的情人节，一些人会scratch their heads绞尽脑汁地想，送什么礼物给significant other另一半。

*scratch /skrætʃ/ v. 挠

*significant /sɪɡˈnɪfɪkənt/ adj. 意义重大的

今天我们聊一聊，英语国家中，网友们收到的奇葩情人节礼物the weirdest gifts people have received on Valentine’s Day。

1. “A T-shirt with a picture of my boyfriend and on the back a poem of how awesome and sweet he was. ”

这个女孩收到一件T恤，前面印着男友的照片，后面是一首诗a poem，男朋友赞美自己how awesome and sweet he was是多么帅气，暖心。

这样的T恤，这个女孩应该不会wear it in public穿出去。

2. “My ex gave me seeds that he took out of his pocket. He said he was allergic to flowers so I could grow my own. ”

这个女孩说：前男友从兜里掏出了些种子took out of his pocket，然后说他对花过敏he was allergic to flowers，所以让女孩自己种grow her own.

这位前男友真是quite creative脑回路清奇。

*allergic /əˈlɜːrdʒɪk/ adj. 过敏的

be allergic to... 对……过敏

* creative /kriˈeɪtɪv/ adj. 有创造力的

3. “My boyfriend of 4 years printed out 12 roses on paper and laid them on the floor.”

女孩交往4年的男友，在纸上打印出12朵玫瑰printed out 12 roses on paper，然后放在了地板上laid them on the floor.

真不知道这位男朋友前3年又送了什么礼物？

4. “I didn’t get anything because my ex’s birthday was on Valentine’s Day, he said it was his day.”

女孩情人节啥礼物也没有get anything，因为前男友的生日就是情人节这天，he said it was his day要为他庆生。

Perhaps they could have found a middle ground.或许他们应该达成妥协。

*middle ground n. 妥协；中间立场

5. “I got chocolates from the dollar store, and my boyfriend ate half the box before giving them to me.”

女孩的男朋友在dollar store（美国的一元店），买了盒巧克力，自己吃了一半ate half the box，然后送给女友当情人节礼物。

He must have been hungry on the way home.这男朋友可能回家路上饿了吧。

6. “He got me chocolate and roses, expect he knew that I am allergic to flowers and lactose intolerant. ”

这位男朋友极其不走心，自己女友花粉过敏allergic to flowers，送了玫瑰；女朋友lactose intolerant乳糖不耐受，送了巧克力。

*lactose /ˈlæktoʊz/ n. 乳糖

*intolerant /ɪnˈtɑːlərənt/ adj. 无法忍受的

在送礼物给你的significant other时，要注意他们对什么过敏或者不喜欢什么，不然那就……

7. “He gave me a candle that I gave his mom for Christmas.”

这位女朋友收到的蜡烛，竟然是女孩圣诞节送给男朋友妈妈的。

下次从妈妈那拿礼物的时候，要记得double check with her，问下是谁送的哦。

8. “A gym membership.”

女孩收到的是健身房会员卡。

That’s a risky present to gift. 是有风险的礼物。

对方可能会想：Is there ahidden messagethere?你什么意思，是嫌我身材不好吗？

欧美人对于礼物背后的含义the hidden message比较敏感。

*membership /ˈmembərʃɪp/ n. 会员身份

*risky /ˈrɪski/ adj. 有风险的
*hidden /ˈhɪdn/ adj. 隐藏的

hidden message 隐含的信息

9. “My ex-husband once gave me a vacuum cleaner. If you want to know how that turned out, re-read the 1st 2nd words ....”

这一位收到老公的情人节礼物是一个vacuum cleaner吸尘器，她说如果你想知道后来怎么样了how that turned out（结果），re-read the 1st 2nd words再读一下前2个词，“my ex-husband”，前夫。

10. “A breakup text.”

情人节收到分手短信，that’s horrible！太可怕了！

11. “ My ex got me a package of dates with a note that read, “Here’re some dates because I know you’ll never be able to get any others from anyone else.”

前任送了一包枣a package of dates，还写了一张字条，“送你一些枣，因为你没法从其他人那里得到。”

这个前任玩了一个文字游戏。date，既有“枣”的意思，也有“约会”的意思。

所以，字条上的字可以理解为：送你一些枣，因为你永远得不到其他任何人的约会了。

这个前任，真的是……又mean又funny。

12. "Empty box of chocolate… He told me that he bought it, and there was coconut in all of them (there never is), and that he had to eat them to keep me from having an allergic reaction (I'm allergic to coconut).”

这个女孩收到了一个巧克力盒子。

男朋友说he bought it巧克力真买了，但是里面有coconut椰子，这个女生is allergic to coconut对椰子过敏，以防女友过敏keep her from having an allergic reaction，he had to eat them把巧克力都吃了。

男朋友竟说：For Valentine's Day I saved your life.在情人节这一天，我救了你的命。

所以，It didn't last long after that.不久后，两人就分手了。

It’s soooo weird! 太奇葩了！

13. “My ex got me frozen flowers he stole from a cemetery.”

这位女生情人节收到男朋友从公墓偷来的冷冻花。

只能说，无语了，speechless！遇到这样的男朋友，赶紧跑！

14. “Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn’t arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation. It was not as funny as I thought it would be.”

这个男朋友给女孩订的花没送到that didn’t arrive，或者是放在前廊被偷了were stolen from the porch，就把delivery confirmation交货确认单给女友了。

这个男生还纳闷说：It was not as funny as I thought it would be.竟然没有我以为的那么好笑。（来自直男的困惑）

15. “My now ex picked me up in a limo and took me to a fancy restaurant.When he brought me home he said ‘ oh, you’re half of the cost is 450 dollars, can you write me a check?’ ”

男友用limo豪华轿车接女生去了一个fancy restaurant豪华餐厅，到家后，男友竟然要求女朋友分摊一半的费用，要女生write him a check给他开张支票。

所以这位男朋友已经变成了ex前任。

任何礼物，有心意即可，the thought that counts。

A good Valentine’s Day gift doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant /ɪkˈstrævəɡənt/.不用太贵（expensive），也不用太奢侈（extravagant）。

Happy Valentine’s Day!

如果你是单身，我们也祝你快乐，因为：

人无爱恋，幸福无边，夜里不受梦扰，白天没有思念。

不管有没有另一半，都祝你Happy Valentine’s day！

请留言告诉我们：

What is the worst or the best Valentine’s gift you’ve ever received?

你们收到过的最好的或最奇葩的情人节礼物是什么呢？

期待评论区里你们的分享！