75. Mothers and Daughters with Judith Ruskay Rabinor Ph.D.

Understanding Disordered Eating

The mother-daughter relationship can be an extremely complicated one, especially as it pertains to eating disorders. How do you make sense of it, and start to make real change in your life today?

Today, Judith Ruskay Rabinor and I dive into this loaded topic. If you don’t know Judy, she is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and supervisor at CSAB (Center for Study for Anorexia and Bulimia in NYC). She’s a therapist for individuals, couples, and groups.

Judy has written several books, including A Starving Madness: Tales of Hunger, Hope, & Healing in Psychotherapy; Befriending your ex after divorce: Making life better for you, your kids, & yes, your ex; and The Girl in the Red Boots: Making Peace with My Mother.Need I say more about this awesome woman?

You already know that the mother-daughter relationship can be incredibly complex. Judy and I will break down why it’s complicated, how your relationship with your mom affects you, and what to do about it to make a change today.

BONUS: We’ll chat about how this all comes into play when the daughter becomes a mom herself. We will just scratch the surface on this topic, so we’ll plan to do a follow up soon. Join the newsletter to stay up to date on when part 2 comes out!

Tweetable Quotes

“Our first loves were our mothers. Our first heartbreaks were our mothers. Our mothers were the first ones who met our needs and were our first attachment figure. Their goal was to keep us safe and healthy, and food is interwoven into that.” – Judith Ruskay Rabinor

“When the mothering person is not attuned enough – is not feeding the child when the child is hungry, holding that child when the child needs to be held, helping that child fall asleep when they need sleep, the child doesn’t develop the ability to soothe themselves and they develop an insecure attachment to the mother. They’re waiting always for somebody else to do it for them.” – Judith Ruskay Rabinor

“When people are not secure, they generally fail to develop other ways to soothe themselves.” – Judith Ruskay Rabinor

“Part of what’s really, really important… is gathering details. When did it start? What else was going on? Being inquisitive, investigating, and potentially, if you can, start putting the puzzle pieces together… that’s going to be the crux of how we make change, how we begin to heal.” – Rachelle Heinemann

Resources

Judith’s Website and Books

Judith’s Writing Workshops

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