Ep. 44: A Chat About Grief and Guilt

Triumph After Trauma

Sometime we have plans for our future that don't work out, and are not our choice. When you have specific plans with someone or think a person will be in your life for many more years and your world gets flipped upside down, wondering what your life will be like when that person is no longer in your life (the way they once were) can be impossible to do. It can be quilt riddling to do, and make a person feel like crap.
That's the situation I'm in right now. I wanted the person I'm with to be my life partner and we had started talking about what the first step of building a life together could look like, then out of nowhere the universe fucked us over. Up until April of 2022, I had an idea of what my future might look like and I was excited about how fun doing life with my partner could continue to be.
Now, trying to picture what my future might look like is terrifying. I don't think my future life will be bad, not at all, but knowing it won't involve someone I thought I'd get many years with is painful. Trying to even wonder what life will look like when our time together comes to an end riddles me with guilt, and brings on heavy sadness.
I wanted to share this part of my story and how I'm trying to work through all these emotions, because talking about how we feel (as hard/uncomfortable as it can be) does help but also because I know someone else in the world is hurting and needs to know they're not alone. To know not only are they not alone, they can get through a time that may feel impossible to get through.
If you resonate with this, please don't hesitate to to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can chat and connect more! If you know someone who needs to hear this, share it on social media and tag me so I can thank you for helping spread the word about my podcast Triumph After Trauma!
I'm so grateful you're here, and to be on this wild journey called life with you! <3