LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy & Parenting

Transgender School

LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy & Parenting

What does it actually mean to be an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist or parent? It may not be what you think. Today we’re honored to welcome Dr. Rebeks Clark Mane and Aba Horthy, highly trained therapists who specialize in this field as well as having their own lived experience as members of the community. The four of us explore this critically important topic with more depth and detail than we’ve ever gotten into before.

What if we lived in a world where the model of responding to coming out (from parents, therapists, and others) was not about how hard life would be as an LGBTQIA+ person, but rather normalized and celebrated the experience and the uniqueness of the individual? This is what Rebeks and Aba teach us about in new, eye-opening ways.

We know that outcomes are significantly more positive when LGBTQIA+ youth and adults are affirmed, encouraged, heard, seen, and believed. But what specifically does that look like? And, what might we be doing unknowingly that’s causing harm, even if we think we’re trying to be supportive?

Rebeks is a transmasculine nonbinary therapist who loves working with folx in the "gray spaces" of identity. Aba is a queer mixed nonbinary therapist passionate about helping clients find and express their authentic selves. Both are Associate Marriage and Family Therapists and LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapists.

Throughout our conversation, Rebeks, Aba, and Jackie share parts of their story, their relationship with their families before and after coming out, and the role affirmative therapy (and non-affirmative therapy) played in their journey. They also provide tips and advice for therapists and parents dealing with their kids' transition, how to support queer, nonbinary, and trans kids, and how to avoid disconfirming words and actions that can cause deep trauma.

We also discuss the BIPOC queer, trans, and nonbinary experience, the white supremacist roots of the binary approach to queer representation, the informed consent model for gender affirming surgery, letters needed for surgery and their purpose, the need for cisgender folks to listen and learn with an open mind, gender policing, gender gatekeeping, media representation, the recent episode of The Problem with Jon Stewart called The War Over Gender, and much more.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

What LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy is (3:54)

The current consent model for hormone therapy and surgery and the problems with it (7:07)

What parents can do when they’re struggling with their kids' transition (18:44)

Change in sexual orientation is entirely normal at any age and for any gender (21:12)

How to avoid the trauma of being disconfirmed for trans and nonbinary kids (30:40)

The damage gender reveal parties cause (43:32)

What trans, queer, and nonbinary people's mental health and suicide rates look like when they are surrounded by love and support (56:43)

Resources:

Horthy & Mane Therapy website

The Problem With John Stuart - The War Over Gender

Connect with Rebeks:

LinkedIn

Connect with Aba:

LinkedIn

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