REVERSE GASLIGHTING: The "We Were a Perfect Family" Lie - A Conceptual Discovery


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During a psychotherapy session with a client, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, made a new conceptual discovery, which he refers to as “Reverse Gaslighting.”
Reverse Gaslighting occurs when a pathological narcissist selfishly, covertly, and systematically manipulates a person’s environment for the purpose of falsely proving the absence of individual, relational, and/or family shortcomings, problems, and psychopathology. Implanting the “nothing is wrong with us or you” or “we are perfectly normal” narrative requires the false representation of mental and relational health when such does not exist.
Individual relationship members are strategically shown fabricated evidence indicating positive mental and relational health when such does not exist. When abuse, neglect, deprivation, isolation, and other forms of individual and relational dysfunction cannot be explained away, the gaslighter will attempt to normalize them. Such normalization requires the gaslighter to provide inaccurate statements, explanations, and fabricated “proof” that one’s perceptions of problems and concerns are over-exaggerated, overreacted to, and normal among “most people.”
Most often, “Reverse Gaslighting” is a result of having two parents, one of whom is an SLD, and the other, a pathological narcissist. The SLD parent raises their child in such a way that “blinds” them from the experience of being raised by a narcissist, but still causes the childhood attachment trauma that is responsible for Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency).
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Ross Rosenberg's Biography
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.
Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it.
Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.
His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel with 23 million views and 247,000 subscribers, and his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, which has sold over 155,000 copies in 12 languages.
In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services. Learn more at

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