Episode 267: Moving Forward From Trauma & Relationship Boundaries and Expectations

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Hello, friends! In this episode, I take a look at two very interesting questions relating to knowing the line between friendship and intimate relationships and coping with past trauma and bullying when.

Question 1:

Hello, I am 28 years old and for the half of my life so far I have not done well with my mental health and haven’t sought any help apart from CBT which helped me look into things more positively for a temporary time. Since I was 12 I was bullied and had no support even when talking about it with parents they used to think only about my future education and how being in certain situations will do good for me in the future although at that time was traumatising me, and I stuck to it (i can’t even talk about it without crying and that was over 10 years ago) 4 years that went on, together with my family being in domestic violence, my dad beating me and my mother to a bad stage, where since then being in violent or conflict situations I would start shaking and crying even now and could not stop it. It’s really a struggle, I really need advice.

Question 2:

First off, thank you for all you do for this community, even amid a pandemic. I’m a 24-year-old female living with depression, ADHD, anxiety, and possibly Borderline Personality Disorder (though undiagnosed). My question has to do with the line between friendship and intimate relationships.

A year ago, I matched with an old high school classmate (we didn’t know each other until now) on Tinder and we started talking, almost every day. Over time, we started to grow closer and closer to one another and he is now one of my best friends. Once the mask restrictions in California started to lift, we started to meet up, just hanging out at first but the last two times got rather… intense. What we planned as a “friend-to-friend cuddle session” turned into something else entirely, consisting of intimate touching, kissing, and sexual suggestions, though nothing sexual took place. I think this caused me to fall head over heels for him, so when I confessed these feelings and got rejected, I was very confused and distraught.

I have never experienced these activities with a friend. Is this considered normal? I feel like we had different expectations and interpretations which is now causing us to drift apart rapidly. I can’t help but feel like this is my fault; just another case of me ruining a healthy friendship. How can we go about repairing this relationship, moving on from my romantic feelings and intentions, and remaining friends? Thanks again, and I look forward to your next podcast!

Episode 255 – Related Posts

As well as listening to the podcast, you can also find my thoughts on the questions in written format in these related posts!

Question 1 – Can Therapy Help With Trauma? – Duff The Psych

Question 2 – Can We Remain Friends after Romance? – Duff The Psych

Sponsor:

This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp and Seed Health.

If you are in a mental health slump, consider reaching out to a licensed professional to help. BetterHelp has a large counselor network and you can begin chatting with someone very quickly. Check out betterhelp.com/duff to get 10% off your first month.

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Thanks for Listening!

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The post Episode 267: Moving Forward From Trauma & Relationship Boundaries and Expectations appeared first on Duff The Psych.

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