IFS and Our Eating Parts: Who's at the Table with Tammy Sollenberger

The Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast

Has something like this every happened to you?

You find yourself standing at your pantry, having just eaten a half-bag of Oreos--and you can't really remember eating them. And then the guilt comes in, because of course you "shouldn't" have eaten those. And that critical voice starts in with "How could you do that? You're going to gain weight. Why can't you control yourself? What's wrong with you? You should know better!"

And then you toss the Oreos in the trash--because they're just plain evil--and vow to never bring them into the house again.

This is a cycle that happens sooooo often. We eat something we "shouldn't," and then we beat ourselves up for it. And we punish ourselves by taking the enjoyable food away.

But instead of berating ourselves....

What if we just got curious about what was happening?

What if we were genuinely interested in why we ate what we ate? What if we really wondered about what led us to those Oreos? And what if we had some compassion for the parts of us that felt the need to eat them?

Being curious about why we do what we do is one of the hallmarks of Internal Family Systems, or IFS. Instead of berating ourselves about what we've thought, felt, or done, we get curious about it. Why did I say that? Why do I feel this way? Why did I do that?

Try this little exercise and see if you notice the difference. Think back to a time where you ate something you "shouldn't have." Think about how you responded to that. Were you angry at yourself? Did you come down really hard on yourself? Did you vow to change your behavior? If you did, notice how that makes you feel. Really focus on the bodily sensations that come up for you. I'm guessing you're feeling pretty lousy. Tense. Guilty. Ashamed.

But picture that scenario again and imagine just being curious about why you ate that "forbidden food." Imagine thinking, "I wonder why I did that?" Or "Hmmmm....I really want to understand what brought me to that food."

Notice how different that feels. I'm guessing far less guilt-ridden (if there's any guilt at all) and far less angry with yourself. Check in to see how different your body feels. Probably much more relaxed. Calm.

Approaching our eating with curiosity allows us to understand--and not judge--the parts of us that contribute to our eating patterns.

This is what we're talking about on this week's podcast episode. I chat with Tammy Sollenberger, an IFS therapist and author of "The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self," about:

• How compassionate and comforting it feels to approach our eating patterns from an IFS standpoint
• Getting to know the parts that contribute to our eating habits
• Allowing parts that use food for comfort to still "have a seat at the table"
• How to connect to your authentic, compassionate self

With lots of laughter (probably a little too much!), Tammy and I explore all of these concepts and discuss how our own parts relate to food.

Find Tammy on her website, and grab her book here!

And you can find me at:

https://www.yourweightisnotyourworth.com/

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