11: When Pump Change Sends Your T1D Kid into a Meltdown

Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes

Today’s question comes from a mom who sees her son go into full-meltdown mode at pump change time, but this behavior differs, depending on who is observing him. As with any outward behavior, the internal emotions behind it are the key.

Join us as we discuss how this mom can be supportive and allow his independence while giving her son the space to express his frustration with T1D.

Show Highlights:

Guest: Terezinha lives in Ontario, Canada. Her 11-year-old son, Theo, was diagnosed in 2021.

• How healthcare in Ontario provides a pump for diabetes care one year after diagnosis
• How both Terezinha and Theo notice that T1D life is much easier with a pump, with sleeping, keeping numbers in range, etc.
• How Theo wants to be in control and put his pump in himself but has problems and pain which spiral into a meltdown of anger, name-calling, and frustration
• How Terezinha has noticed that if any friends or family members are around at pump change (other than his parents), he gets it in on the first try with no meltdown
• Terezinha’s Question: “What can we do to improve this situation around Theo’s pump changes?”
• JoAnne’s Answer: “With all of our kids, there will always be an edge where they push the limits of what they are capable of doing. It sounds like he’s telling you that he CAN do this when he is out in the world, but at home, his message to you is that this is profoundly hard for him. I would wonder what the difference is on the inside for him when someone else is around, and why it is easier then. Your eye should be on helping him tap into whatever that capacity is that allows a “normal” pump change. Before the next pump change, choose a mellow moment to ask him about these internal differences in the situation. Talk with him about what you can both do to make the next time easier. I think it’s important not to have the conversation in a pump change moment because you won’t get clear answers. Talk about it regularly when things are calm and start the conversation about the difference when he CAN and CAN’T do the pump change. Be careful about saying things that ramp up his shame, and maybe you need to leave him alone to handle pump change a little more often. You want to be there for him, but that creates a dysregulated space for both of you. Let him know that you are stepping away to de-escalate the situation to take a break because you are dysregulated. That’s a good thing to model for him so he knows it’s OK to step away and take a break. Make space at other times for his distress and give him permission to talk about diabetes, his frustration, and how difficult it is.”

Resources:

Visit my website for available resources: www.diabetessweettalk.com

For help with the emotional and parenting challenges of facing T1D management, join one of our live recording sessions by clicking the banner at the top of the homepage.

For a more hopeful future for you and your T1D child, consider the After Diagnosis coaching course at www.diabetessweettalk.com/courses.

Experienced T1D parents can find help in the Put Diabetes in Its Place course at www.diabetessweettalk.com/courses.

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