Manage episode 172634589 series 1085263
“My partner is ‘supposed’ to make me come.”
“Orgasm should happen naturally.”
“Anything other than missionary is dirty or wrong.”
“Oral sex is not for me.”
Many a Pedestal Princess has complained that her intimate relationship was devoid of deep, satisfying orgasmic pleasure. If Pedestal Princess is one of the personality traits you possess, there are several clues as to why you’re not enjoying more pleasure. In fact, much of it comes from your unspoken expectations and sexual myths you’ve bought into.
- “My partner is supposed to make me come.”
For example, one of the myths I busted in an article for Stylist Magazine, is that “My partner is ‘supposed’ to make me come.” Many Pedestal Princesses are frustrated that their partner fails to make them climax. But your orgasm is your responsibility, too. If your partner is not spontaneously gifted in getting you there, it is up to you to take control. That means asking for what you want. Try getting on top so that you can control the rhythm and contact with your clitoris. Try masturbating more. Getting to know your body is the key to becoming orgasmic. If you don’t know how to make yourself come when you are alone, it will be a lot more difficult with a partner.
- “Orgasm should happen spontaneously”
Another myth is that “orgasm is supposed to happen naturally.”
A lot of women, especially Pedestal Princesses, expect to have an orgasm while having penetrative sex. However, the clitoral stimulation needed to reach climax during penetrative intercourse is often insufficient for achieving orgasm. And that, my dear woman, is normal.
The most sensitive part of a woman’s anatomy is the head of the clitoris and the more clit stimulation you receive the more likely you are to have an orgasm. So before or during penetration, with a finger, vibrator or other toy, make sure to get consistent clit action.
- “Missionary is the only way to go.”
Sometimes women get stuck believing that “Anything other than missionary or conventional sex is bad.” This is a belief that the Pedestal Princess and the ‘Blessed but Repressed’ type harbours. For heterosexuals – if you think the only ‘natural’ way to have sex is the missionary position, you may be missing out on another lovely way to reach orgasm. By laying on your stomach and allowing your partner to enter you from behind, he may have better access to your G-spot, which can shorten the time to orgasm considerably.
And, as one man pointed out at a recent discussion in ManClub, hosted by Conscious Relationship mentor, Duke Sayer, he found that his lady could experience body-rocking orgasms when he tapped her A-spot. The anterior fornix, or A-spot, is a sensitive portion of tissue on the anterior wall (facing the abdomen) of the vagina just past the G-spot and just before the cervix. Many women report intense pleasure when this spot is tapped. Continuous stroking or tapping this sensitive area can lead to orgasm.
Get down from your pedestal and invite your partner to go down on you.
- “Oral sex is not for me.”
This is another myth commonly shared by the Ice Queen, Repressed but Blessed and Pedestal Princess. It is worth mentioning that research shows that women are more likely to experience orgasm when oral sex is involved.
So get down from your pedestal and invite your partner to go down on you to heighten the pleasure you feel. If they insert a finger in your vagina to gently rub your G-spot or even your A-spot (see the diagram) while performing oral, you may find that the combination leads to an orgasmic rush before you know it.
To add a few more sexy ideas to your sexual repertoire I invite you to explore your sexuality a bit more with the free mindfulness 21 Days of Bliss program. The short daily rituals, meditations & ‘sexploration activities’, you can open your mind and heart to a titillating new world of your vibrant, luscious sexuality.
Curious to see what other personality traits may be impacting your experience of pleasure and sexual release? To watch a video about all 7 of the personality types which predict sexual hangups or orgasmic difficulty, visit www.SensualVitality.tv
This article includes excerpts from The Orgasm Prescription for Women: 21-days to Heightened Pleasure, Deeper Intimacy and Orgasmic Bliss by Andrea Pennington, MD, C.Ac., printed with permission from the author and publisher. You can listen to a sample of the audiobook here or download a sneak peek of the first chapter here.