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Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard Ostler (twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler; FB: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5; IG: instagram.com/papa_ostler/) and am a native of Salt Lake City. I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) and Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints) I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting ...
 
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show series
 
My friend Jamison Manwaring (RM from Eastern Canada, Business Owner, Age 40) shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jamison talks about his efforts to make deals with God to not be gay during his closeted years growing up in Idaho Falls and coming out to his Mission President who listened without judgement. Jamison talks about difficult and …
 
My friend Ed Axley (married father of four, business owner, RM from Costa Rica) share the unique aspects of our restored doctrine that led to his baptism into the Church at age 18. Ed also shares four insightful ways to respond when people open with their life situations. Ed concludes with helping each of us see ourselves as beloved children of Hea…
 
My friend Andrea Lystrup is a licensed marriage and family therapist joining us to share insights on several important topics including 1) creating Zion within our Church; 2) tools to better love each other; 3) how to balance the tension between law and love; 4) working through pain when something said at Church is hurtful; 5) how to get through tr…
 
My friend Marcus Hayden, age 19 and preparing for a mission, shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Marcus starts with the excellent talk he gave in his BYU YSA Ward this summer based on Elder Gong’s talk “Room in the Inn” (https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/16gong?lang=eng). Marcus does a great job of taking …
 
My friend Liv Mendoza Haynes, who spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency at BYU Women’s Conference, shares her story. Liv (who is a convert, RM, Lawyer, Young Woman’s President and expectant mother), shares her journey which included coming out as queer church-wide at Women’s Conference in April 2021 as part of the Relief Society goal to …
 
My friend Colette Dalton (Masters of Social Work from BYU, worked for the Church, now therapist at Symmentry Solutions) share her journey as a gay/queer Latter-day Saints. Colette shares her journey to understand her sexual orientation, navigating being queer and a Church employee and her work as a therapist. If you are a queer women or parent of a…
 
My friend Kendall Harward (Ghana, West Africa RM) bravely shares his story. Kendall talks about life before his mission pushing down this aspect of his essence, talking to his Bishop, and going on his mission believing feelings of being gay was a phase that ended. Kendall bravely talks about realizing being gay was still part of him during his miss…
 
My friend Stuart Barrett (RM from Nebraska, age 26) bravely shared his experience being disfellowshipped in a Facebook post (see https://www.facebook.com/1344601875/posts/10225731849786709/) and returned to full Church activity. Stuart talks about why he is open about this chapter of his life, why he is a better person for going through the process…
 
My friend Devan Jensen, president of the Latter-day Saint Publishing and Media Association (ldspma.org), joins us to introduce the organization and invite listeners to their upcoming conference at BYU October 7-9, 2021. The association is for Latter-day Saints in publishing or media or independently sharing content through blogs, podcasts, or socia…
 
In this solo episode following the events at BYU on August 23rd, I share thoughts for my LGBTQ Latter-day Saints friends, thoughts about my friend Matt Easton, thoughts for fellow Latter-day Saints who are LGBTQ allies, thoughts for local leaders wanting to talk about supporting LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in their local areas, and insights for those i…
 
My friend Mindi Holmgren and Justin Holmgren join us to share about the sudden death of their husband/brother at age 35. Corey, who drowned in the community swimming pool on January 19th 2019, was a Military Chaplain and LMFT working at Lifestar in Murray, Utah who helped hundreds during his lifetime. Mindi and Corey are the parents of four—with th…
 
My friend Ryan Anderson (LDS married father of 4, Ph.D. in Medical Family Therapy from East Carolina University) talks about helping those in abusive relationships and also tools to help local Church leaders better meet the needs of those who bravely open up about being victims of abuse. Ryan offers this free webinar https://academy.cedarfort.com/c…
 
My friend @noah7hanson on IG shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Noah talks about life in High School, and his successful mission (came out to Heavenly Father at the end of his mission). Noah also talks about dating women, getting engaged, and then receiving strong personal revelation to end that engagement and come out to his now ex-fian…
 
My friend Kim Siever zooms us from Lethbridge, Alberta, to share his story. Kim, who is Canadian, served a mission in Utah and is now an independent journalist. He tells us his lifelong journey to understand his sexual orientation after being convinced for over 40 years that he was straight. He also shares how the Spirt helped him understand this p…
 
My friends Truman (Toronto Canada RM, JD from Harvard Law School) and Brae (New Mexico RM, MHR/MBA from Utah State) join us to share their story as gay Latter-day Saints.Brae and Truman talk about growing up knowing they were gay, serving missions, coming out and eventually starting to date men. Truman talks about having his church membership withd…
 
My friend Geoffrey Pears (Masters in Accounting from BYU, RM from the Philippines) joins us to share the talk he gave in his YSA Ward in Houston about his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. It is a deeply moving, honest and vulnerable talk. Geoffrey does a great job taking us into the life of a gay member of the Church. I am glad that his Bishop an…
 
My friend Jordan Jackson (who shared his story in episode 246) joins us to talk about his new LGBTQ resource guide, LGBTQUT.com. Jordan talks about how the guide helps connect LGBTQ individuals, parents with LGBTQ children, and allies to resources in Utah—something Jordan wishes he had 4 years ago when we came out. Please listen to this podcast and…
 
My friend Devin Wilde (Scotland Ireland RM, SLC Native) bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Devin talks about growing up knowing he was gay from a very young age. Devin also talks about his mental health and pornography use during his pre-mission years and how he stop pornography use after a visit with his Bishop. Devin talks about …
 
My friend Kurt Nielsen (who was episode 147) updates us on his journey and insights as a gay Latter-day Saint. Kurt, who is active in the Church, shares insights on what we can do to better create Zion by seeing and involving our LGBTQ members. Kurt also talks about the need to belong and how some considering separating themselves from the Church a…
 
My friend Will Sintyl, who grew up in Haiti and has lived in Utah for the last 4 years, shares his story. Will, who recently graduated from High School, shares coming out to family and friends as bisexual. Will talks about knowing he was bisexual for many years, why he needed to come out and his hopes for the future. Will also talks about how his r…
 
Our good family friends Mason Dimond and Luke Davenport join us to share their stories. Luke updates us on his service mission that ends in late July—thank you for your service Elder Davenport! Please listen to Episode 228 for more of Luke’s story. Mason, in one of the bravest moments on our podcast, shares what led him to come home from his missio…
 
My friend Blake Hogge shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Blake shares knowing his was “different” before his successful mission to Tampa, Florida (Haitian Creole), decided to stop dating women, developing his very successful wedding photographer business (check out @blakehogge on IG), coming out to friends and family, starting to date men,…
 
My friend Calvin Smith (RM from Mozambique and Swaziland, BYU Grad in Teaching Social Sciences) bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-Day Saint. Calvin talks about his younger years, great mission experience, realizing marrying a woman isn’t going to be possible, becoming suicidal with the complexities of his situation, good family and friends, …
 
My friend Raini Stock (RM from Colorado Springs and getting her Master’s in school counseling from Idaho State University), shares her journey to stay a member of our Church. Raini shares the challenges she faced after her mission while at school at BYU-Idaho and not fitting in or feeling a sense of belong at times in our Church. Raini shares being…
 
My friend Lincoln Bagley bravely shares his unique mission (Peru, home for a year, Utah, Peru and Colorado) which covered three years from his call to returning home in May 2021. Lincoln talks about being sent home from his mission because of prior worthiness and a difficult experience his Mission President, feeling his was going to leave the churc…
 
My friend, Dr. Christy Kane who has a PhD in clinical psychology, joins us to talk about her new book Fractured Souls and Splintered Memories: Unlocking the Boxes of Trauma (https://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Souls-Splintered-Memories-Unlocking/dp/1462140327). Dr Kane’s book and clinical practice is focused on improving our mental health including id…
 
My friends Loren (PhD in Counseling Psychology from BYU) and Anne (Master in Marriage and Family Therapy from BYU) share their story. Loren, who knew he was not straight from an early age, shares his journey of self-discovery and understanding and why he identifies as Queer—a recent development—and the personal revelation that led him to accepting …
 
My friend Blaire Ostler joins us to talk about her new book called Queer Mormon Theology (https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Mormon-Theology-Blaire-Ostler/dp/1948218410). Blaire has wonderful insights into how to understand, see and support Queer Latter-day Saints. One of my favorite sections is 15 ways to be more inclusive for our queer friends. Thank y…
 
My friend Dashiell Miner joins us to better see and love all of God’s children. Dashiell, who is at BYU studying microbiology working towards being medical doctor in oncology, shares four topics: 1) Surviving brain surgery at age 9 and having a life-long hearing disability. Dashiell talks about how this shaped his life to have more empathy and unde…
 
My friend Chauncy Brinton (in his early 40’s, Army Psychologist, Doctorate from James Madison University) bravely and vulnerably shares his journey so he can help others. Chauncy talks about unwanted sexual behaviors—compulsive masturbation and gay pornography use—and why this happened in his life and his path to healing. Now in his 40’s, Chauncy h…
 
My friend Bryce Johnson joins us to share his story. Bryce is an active Latter-day Saint and is honest that he doesn’t know exactly his future. He shares he could marry a man or marry a woman—and is looking for is people in his life that love, support and accept him. That are not telling him how to live his life—but walking with him in his journey.…
 
My friend Karim Lazarus (age 50, living in Baltimore) vulnerably shares his life story. Karim shares growing up in a single-parent home, being sexually abused (which he shares did not make him gay), finding his home in a military high school in Virginia and attending the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs where he joined the Church. That led to …
 
My friend Tate LeBaron (active LDS, in his late 20s) shares the day four years ago when he almost died by suicide and what helped him out of that hopeless and dark place. Tate starts the podcast by reading a Facebook post from May 2021 (https://www.facebook.com/tate.lebaron/posts/10159058075777432). Tate also bravely shares about this battle with p…
 
My friend Daryl Austin is a journalist based in Utah. His work has appeared in National Geographic, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and The New York Times. On the podcast, Daryl talks about several of his articles to help us better understand social issues, reduce divisiveness and the reasons to celebrate our differences. He…
 
My friend Josh Pedersen, who came out as gay at 21 following his successful LDS mission in England, talks about his Kickstarter where you can pre-order his new booked called “OUT, NOT IN!” Josh, who is a full time Professor of Design, wrote the book to help LGBTQ people struggling to find their voice come out, and also to their families and close f…
 
My friend Drew Young (who was on episodes 276 and 325) joins us to talk about his new book called “Stand Guard at the Door of Your Mind” which is available for pre-order at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Stand-Guard-Door-Your-Mind/dp/B0933GP1RY/). In the book Drew discusses many topics including suicide, porn, mental heath and bullying. In our podc…
 
My friends Bree and Kit share their story as a couple with Bree’s gender incongruence/gender dysphoria. Bree talks about the shame, guilt and fear of 40+ years dealing with this and then eventually coming out to Kit. Kit and Bree talk about how their marriage is now even stronger and how they are moving forward. Bree talks about what it is like to …
 
My friend Dallas Campbell shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. I became aware of Dallas from his moving Instagram coming out post www.instagram.com/tv/CNTnG5thfbWDallas talks about knowing he is gay from a young age, some difficult times in high school, serving a wonderful mission in Guatemala, testimony of the Gospel, trying to date women, …
 
My friend Connor Berg (grew up in South Weber, Served a mission in the Jacksonville Florida Mission, currently at Utah State) shares his journey. Connor talks about growing up and learning he is gay in a world that makes it difficult to be gay. That led to years of shame, self-harm and depression. Connor eventually came out to his family (very supp…
 
My friends Dason and Taylor join us to share principles about how to keep relationships together when one goes through a faith crisis/transition. Dason and Taylor were friends growing up in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada and both served missions. After they both got married and started families, they lost contact until Dason’s Facebook post in 2019 ab…
 
My friend Tony Fieldson, who was on Episode 359, shares 10 keys for responding to your loved one’s questions or faith transition (see Tony’s video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm3visvgAFk). Tony also talks about The Restoration Table Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/720024265292786) and its goals to implement these 10 keys amon…
 
My friend Bo Buchi (masters degree, licensed clinical therapist) talks about his role as a therapist to help clients use the Gospel of Jesus Christ to improve their lives (including ending pornography use and living the law of chastity). Bo also talks about listening to the right voices (our leaders, scriptures) to make the hard decisions to improv…
 
My friend Tom Fairholm (who recently graduated from BYU with degrees in music composition and Russian) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Tom, who has deep testimony of loving Heavenly Parents, the Savior, the Book of Mormon, talks about coming out to his parents in his teens (good experience), serving a mission, trying to make dating wome…
 
My friends Elin and Randy Dastrup join us to talk about Randy’s life-long battle of feeling broken and having no worth. This partly resulted from being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Randy (who served a mission in Puerto Rico) talks about his battles with pornography and having an affair. Elin and Randy share the moment Randy told Elin about…
 
In anticipation of the upcoming North Star Conference, on June 10th-13th, my friends Ty Mansfield and Jeff Bennion join us to share their story of the founding of North Star—how and why it all started. They share the goals, vision, and mission of North Star, as well as address some common misconceptions about North Star. Ty and Jeff also share some…
 
My friends Jordan and Adam share their journey as gay Latter-day Saints. Jordan and Adam served missions, completed college, have strong careers, have been together for three years and now feel their path is to get married. While we all understand their path is outside the doctrine of our Church, this episode is about how to come together in our di…
 
My friend Jed Alldredge shares his story about being the parent of a gay son, Jeffrey Alldredge (episode 270). Jeffrey came out at age 12 to his parents Jed and Starlyn—which is over 15 years ago. Jed has been on this road for a longtime and has wonderful insights into being the parent of a gay son. Like all families, there are some difficult momen…
 
My friend David (gay) and Ann (straight) Rickey share their journey. David, who kept the shame of his sexual orientation to himself for over 40 years, decided the time was right to come out to Ann in 2012 while serving as a Bishop in Nevada. Ann and David talk about the difficult and painful days that followed—but the joy, happiness and peace that …
 
My friend Tanner Robinson joins us to share his story. Tanner (age 24, active LDS, and working on a Doctor of Audiology) starts with his mission in Taiwan and returning home early because of fibromyalgia. Tanner then shares his journey to understand and be at peace with his sexual orientation as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. I have made many incorre…
 
My friend Emerson Fersch, recently released as Stake President in the California Long Beach East Stake, talks about ‘creating Zion’ in his stake where everyone felt welcome, loved and needed. That included a significant outreach to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in his stake—as well as working to make sure other groups who often feel on the margins feel a…
 
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