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Take a nice long sip of cynicism with your favorite podcast hosts Timmy and Jimmy. We will talk you through only the most dismal and depraved topics in our society. Come gather round as we give long rambling answers as to the reasons why we are sad sacks. Oh, and this is primarily a comedy podcast so laugh, haha hahaha *sobs* #cynic #empowerment #podcast #podcasts #about #capitalism #socialism #sad #topics #funny #informative #cynical #deadjokes #dead #jokes
 
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Welcome to the cool side of the afterlife folks. We need help taking down the infernal litigator! This time we look to the heavens for holy council.sound fx creds:https://freesound.org/people/Cunningar0807/sounds/436128/https://freesound.org/people/Teo4/sounds/159641/Cynic Empowerment
 
Could it be?! In the very likeness of J.D. Rockefeller? He's here and he's spillin the bagels. Being wealthy ain't always what you would expect, especially when you have you're public images to consider.Credited sound FX:https://freesound.org/people/humanoide9000/sounds/569047/https://freesound.org/people/Dneproman/sounds/377220/…
 
Welcome back to the depths of despair folks, we'll be your guide on the river Styx today! On our tour we'll be discussing a variety of rant filled subjects carefully curated for your dismal listening pleasures.ImageCreator: Lee Credit: MCTCynic Empowerment
 
Gold toothpicks aren't worth your loyalty! Slip and slide through this greasy episode y'all.sound credits:https://freesound.org/people/Dodgy%20C/sounds/179357/https://freesound.org/people/sofiakilroy/sounds/508072/193349__klankbeeld__horror-ambience-53-sabt-mat-capella-ducisCynic Empowerment
 
Martin's Big Hammer is here to give us the low down on his relationship with Martin Luther himself!Intro Music: 18 - theremin.wav by rap2h at Freesound.orgmusic box by gumballworld:https://freesound.org/people/gumballworld/sounds/386927/horror ambience 53 sabt mat capella ducis.wav by klankbeeldhttps://freesound.org/people/klankbeeld/sounds/193349/…
 
Imagine a planet with a deadly communicable disease. Now imagine this same planet with a vaccine to prevent the spread of this disease. In this instance would it make sense to:A) Share the vaccine patent with everyone orB) Restrict the distribution of the patent, preventing poorer countries from having access to itUnfortunately we live on planet B.…
 
Yaaargh Matey's! Do yar' wann' be enertained?! Dan look no further as we converse with the likes of which yee never heard! Yargh!Sounds:https://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/77692/https://freesound.org/people/Lydmakeren/sounds/510912/https://freesound.org/people/Timbre/sounds/385882/Cynic Empowerment
 
On this episode we discuss the oh so tantalizing 3 executive orders drafted by the Biden administration on gun reform and all the interesting juicy bits that they entail. Not only this, but we break the most important rule on the internet, Godwin's Law.Cynic Empowerment
 
Coming to you from the Cynic Empowerment Network! Your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy have their hands on a super spooky spirit box. This week we chat with Da Vinci's Sneakers!Intro Music: 18 - theremin.wav by rap2h at Freesound.orgCynic Empowerment
 
Mormon cops dragging you away to a lifetime of forced labor in the US penal system? Well, we have a episode for you! Join your favorite sad sacks, Timmy and Jimmy as we explore the FBIs fetish of Mormons, killer collars, and doms with 6 foot long whips!Cynic Empowerment
 
Is your super syrupy snow cone melting over your sweat pants? Join your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as cup our hands in futility to keep you unstickied. Super spensive spy planes, deadly bolo tie boys, and billionaire bumper crops in this one y'all.Cynic Empowerment
 
Time to chill out with your favorite sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy as we waltz through the winter wonderland of frozen food insecurity. In this episode we check out these despicable defenders of dumpsters while their fellow humans go hungry. Stay safe on those frosty streets y'all!Cynic Empowerment
 
Elon Musk giving away 5 million dollars is equivalent to him giving away .000023% of his wealth of 209 billion dollars. He could give away 5 million dollars every day for the next 114 years and still have over 2 million dollars in the bank. It would cost approximately 20 billion to end homelessness in America, which Musk could end 10 times over and…
 
Remember the Hercules episode where an artisan was creating living clay statue women that would love you no matter what? Was this Disney predicting a future of lonely socially inept men finding love in inanimate objects? Probably not, but it is fascinating to see human beings finding new and inventive ways to complete their Maslow's hierarchy of ne…
 
Happy holidays you grinchy goons! Join you favorite sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy as we dig into the dastardly schemes of state abduction, Santa's string of breaking and entering, and how you can benefit from private fascist sponsorship in your quest to threaten minorities and uncover inconsequential schemes of faux voter fraud!…
 
In lighter news someone named Adolf Hitler won an election in Namibia. In more unfortunate news the worst of the pandemic and economic collapse is about to rock the United States to its core. Look to your friends, family and neighbors, and do what you can to help one another because the government isn't going to save us.…
 
India broke a record y'all! Celebrate with your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as we slink through gay orgies looking for that anti-gay guy and witness overt corporate evil in the highest of court in the land. Keep your head up folks, we're almost there.Cynic Empowerment
 
Who knew that in the year 2020 Amazon would be employing the Pinkerton's on warehouses workers in Europe. Furthermore, who knew the Pinkerton's would be incorporated in the country of Sweden, guess the Nordic Model isn't what its all cracked up to be after all. Needless to say these are bad things, and people usually say that it is better to not dw…
 
The market will never save us from climate change, because the market as it currently operates only exists to generate profits, no more no less. Everything we as consumers buy exists solely to make profits. The destruction of the environment will only stop when it is no longer financially advantageous to destroy the environment.--------------------…
 
Tossin' kiddos and flippin' them rocks with your super silly sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy! In this sleuthful rendition we get the dirt on illicit police activity, taste the blandest of Biden brand beer, and go for the world record kid toss with the help from our boys at Kentucky State Police!Cynic Empowerment
 
Gandhi like every human that's ever existed is a mixed bag. He wasn't the epitome of evil, but he wasn't perfect either, In the struggle for an independent India he played a crucial role. but his idea of what an independent India would look like, however is downright garbage. If you enjoy having the image of people you admire completely destroyed t…
 
Purdue Pharma went under, but don't you worry, the Sackler family safely sequestered their money by divesting it from Purdue Pharma and reinvesting it into other companies, so they won't lose much if any money at all. In other news pollution the world over is killing babies, which isn't new news, but we have the numbers now so that's fun. Oh, and c…
 
Knowledge bombs getting dropped by your favorite two dopey sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy. Be amazed at how we continually find bad things to say about Musk. Be awed at how we find new ways to poop all over organized religion. Be amused at our childish use of potty humor and MUCH MORE!Cynic Empowerment
 
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